Second Poem Up For Publication!

Hey everyone!

Hope all is well with you today. I'm back with more excellent news: a second poem of mine is getting published this summer as well!! The poem is called "The World Is Not A Bowling Ball", and it will be published by the journal Arsenic Lobster. They've got some really fascinating work in their journal, so you should check it out here.

I remember the day I wrote the very first draft of this poem. We were reading Matthew Dickman in my Poetry Writing class, and I had to write a response to one of the poems from his collection "All-American Poem". I loved Dickman's poetry (and still do), but I was struggling to find even those initial stumbling words. I didn't even know what I wanted to write about, much less how to write it. On a Tuesday morning that September (the day the assignment was due), I stumbled out of bed and decided that I would respond to his poem "The World Is Too Huge to Grasp", the last poem in the collection and the one that most resounded with me. I was tired (not enough sleep) and a little bit frustrated. (How can I write this poem? I have no idea what I'm doing!!) Finally, with that idea of "I have no idea what I'm doing!" blazing in my head, I began to write to two people: I wrote to the poet himself, for the most part, while the very end seemed to be addressed to a friend. Then I thought: This poem is either really good, or extremely terrible. It's probably not "average". With that, I turned it in.

When I got the assignment back, my professor declared: "Courtney, Matthew Dickman set you free!" I replied happily as I received my assignment. A plus. When I went to talk to my professor a few weeks later about my poetry aspirations (and frustrations), she told me I'd blown the roof off with that poem. Her words ignited a tiny fire of hope in the midst of a week to which darkness had clung like cobwebs and mold. I kept working on my poetry, and felt the liberation spread from that day forth.


A huge thanks to my Poetry Writing teacher and fellow poet classmates, who also gave remarkable feedback on this poem and others. Another huge thanks to friends, family and all those who have supported me throughout this tumultuous but wonderful and rewarding process. I love you and thank you endlessly for helping me pull through.

All best,

Courtney Justus





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Poetry Getting Published For The First Time!!

Hi everyone!!
I have officially finished my first year in college, and bring you exciting news:

MY POETRY IS GETTING PUBLISHED!!!

For months I've been waiting to get that first 'yes' from a literary magazine. The magazines I'd submitted to back in the winter were all saying 'no', even to what I thought were my better poems. I was tired and frustrated, asking myself why they were saying no and if I'd ever be good enough to get published. Sounds a little harsh, but they say most authors are their own worst critic, and that just might be my case.

Anyway, moving forward a little bit, I heard about this literary journal called Eunoia Review through Authors Publish Magazine, which I subscribed to a few months ago. They send me an email every week with journals and other publishers accepting submissions, plus inspirational material for writing. When they sent information about the Eunoia Review, I looked at their main page and decided to give it a shot. Their content was excellent, and they had a commitment to respond to all submissions within 24 hours, which I think is spectacular,

I revised several poems and sent them off, feeling a little bit jittery. When I couldn't sleep that night, I checked my phone and saw I had a new email. It was from them! I opened the email, and it was a YES.

That's right. A short, sweet response in which they agreed to publish my poem "Petition on a Concrete Bench Saturday". Lauren Berry, author of The Lifting Dress, actually saw the very first draft of this poem and liked it!** I am so grateful for her support, and for the help and support given to me from my family, friends and the members of my Poetry Writing class last fall. I am also extremely grateful for the Eunoia Review for agreeing to publish my poem. I'll always remember the moment I saw their email and cried. It's only the beginning. If I got this yes, I can get another one.

For those of you who are struggling to get that first "yes", or simply trying to find a place for their work, know that you can do it. Your work deserves a place and, if you search enough, you can find it. I know I might receive more rejections after this. Okay, I know I will probably get rejections in the future. But I will also get acceptations, and in the long run, aiming for those acceptations, fighting for them and getting them is what matters.

It might sound funny, but I feel like this first "yes" wouldn't have meant as much if it had come earlier on. I remember this poem actually got rejected by the first literary magazine I sent it to, which felt especially awful, since it had been heavily workshopped in my Poetry Writing class, and I regarded it as one of my better poems. But I knew in my heart that this poem deserved a place in a literary journal. Now, it has found that place. And it feels absolutely perfect.


Thanks for reading my blog and supporting my work. I will post links to my work once it is published in late July. In the meantime, you should check out some of the other work they publish here. And keep an eye out for my work!! Late July will be here before you know it!


;)

Courtney

**For more information on how I met Lauren Berry, see this entry.



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Anomie For This Writer

Anomie. It's the most interesting word I have heard of in a long time. But what does it mean? According to my Sociology reading from Conley's "You May Ask Yourself", it's a sense of normlessness or aimlessness that comes when you feel that life can no longer be considered predictable under reasonable means. Anomie may also occur when social regulation is reduced. In this post, I hope to tell you about my sense of anomie and how it relates to my writing.

When I first saw this word, I thought to myself: "Hmm, that sounds familiar!" It feels like a good thing to say that, although looking back, it wasn't such a good thing at first. I moved to Buenos Aires, Argentina in December 2007, when I was twelve years old. I had moved before, but never outside the United States.

Moving to Argentina turned everything upside-down. I had to learn Spanish at a very uncomfortable rate while trying to make new friends and get used to a very different way of life. Things weren't so great between my parents, school was difficult and I had absolutely no idea how to adapt.

After nearly six years, I realized that I could never adhere myself to a particular set of norms. Back in the States, I more or less knew what these "rules" looked like, both said and unsaid. When I moved, I tried to find a new set. With the passing of time, I found a lot of different rules, but many of them changed quickly according to different circumstances and even people. In fact, sometimes it was hard to say if there were any real norms at all. Maybe this frustration came from me being American, while most of the people I knew were born and raised in Buenos Aires. Some of them had changed schools or houses, so they understood what that felt like. But countries? Most people hadn't, with the exception of certain members of my youth group and first non-USA middle school, both of which were international.

At this point, you might be wondering: "What do you mean, you didn't know what the norms were?" Let me explain. If you were born and raised in Buenos Aires, particularly in the area I spent most of my adolescence in, then you knew what kind of actions and attitudes were accepted and not accepted, as well as what kinds of people were well-liked and weren't. There were also a lot of rules that weren't spoken, but felt collectively, and everyone knew what they were. Except for me, the foreigner. And then there was the general fact that, at most private schools, Americans were put down as different in many, many bad ways. (Unless you went to one of those fancy international schools, had a very rich family and became popular easily. I went to one briefly, but it got too expensive, and I was neither rich nor popular.) My brother was bombarded with horrid jokes about the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I was called an undocumented alien immigrant (among many other barbarities), nearly thrown into a garbage can (while I had a limp, mind you!) and had my phone stolen from me twice. (It's a miracle I even got it back!)

I tried to learn the norms, in order to fit in. I was still able to make friends (mostly outside of school) and get decent grades, since there were certain "school" and "friendship norms" that applied for both the USA and Argentina. But the more I tried to apply myself to this process, the more I felt like there were so many rules that feel obsolete in quite a few situations, which happened so many times that I came to think that there was a set of norms for Argentineans but not for foreigners, who had to pray to get lucky.

Here's an example of a rule that fell "obsolete": As an American at a bilingual school, English classes were pretty easy for me, and a lot of people looked to me for help. I found, at first, that helping people from my class with certain translations made them very happy, which made them act nicer towards me. But over time, things got to the point where those people would treat me badly even after I had helped them, or would get frustrated after asking for my help and realizing that the translation would be more difficult than expected. People made jokes that I'd always say "It depends on how you use it" or a similar phrase when helping, but it was pretty true. In many cases, I needed more context than what they gave me to properly help them, and if I gave them the wrong answer, it'd just be worse for me. But given my previous experiences, I'm not sure that rule still fully applies, since so many other ones don't.

Finally, I was able to graduate high school, get into college in the United States and start having a more stable life. My sense of anomie has mostly faded. The good part is, I have some great inspiration from my experiences with anomie. In spite of it, I even made some friends who I still talk to today (They are more understanding of us "Yankees", and know full well how immature it is to bully someone just because they are from a different country and are "different" as a person). But now, I know what it's like to feel that you can't rely on anything or anyone. I've lost sleep wondering whether I'd be at the same school or house the following month, because I was terrified of change and loss. Looking back, I feel more comfortable with change now, and I'm grateful for that, but I don't wish it upon anyone to feel like I did.

I hope that my writing can make people feel less of a sense of anomie, or more comfortable with it. Some people might embrace it, and if I can help them do that, help them make sense of things, then I'm grateful.

There will be certain characters in my projects who will feel plagued with a sense of anomie. Christine experiences some of it in my novel "Promises Made, Kept and Broken", which will hopefully be published in 2015. Lance, Jennifer and Meg are three characters from a work-in-progress that struggled greatly with it. Jasmine and Megan, from two other novels in the works, find themselves dealing with it as well. It is even present in some of my poetry.

You could definitely say anomie has been a huge influence on my work. There have been many other influences, ranging from close friends to bizarre situations and even made-up settings and people (I wrote a poem recently in which I mentioned there was a man holding a candle in his mouth while driving through the woods in the dark. I have never seen that happen or even heard of it happening. Imagination is key), plus everything in between. In the end, I want to inspire people and feel inspired, be happy and help others feel the same. Anomie tends to take away your sense of belonging, and I have been able to get it back by reading and writing. If you're feeling a sense of anomie, or anger, or sadness, or simply that you don't belong: I can help you. There is more to life than a struggle for identity and belonging. Somewhere out there are people who have felt exactly the same as you. You may not know them, but they are reaching out to you in one of the best possible ways: through their writing.

Courtney



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Wrapping up 2014 with fun memories and thoughts on writing

Hello everyone! It's almost 2015! Happy Holidays! I thought I might finish off my 2014 posts by talking about some of the awesome things I've done this year (things I have told you about and things I haven't!)

Here's a look at what I have done this year with my writing:

1) Started submitting to literary magazines before starting college

2) Met Randy Davila, CEO of Hierophant Publishing and Hampton Roads Publishing, presented him with the idea for my novel Promises Made, Kept and Broken and got a signed copy of his book Think Like A Publisher!

3) Enrolled in a poetry class at my university. I had to waitlist myself, but it was totally worth it!

4) Submitted my book proposal to Randy Davila as part of a contest of sorts. It wasn't accepted, but I have faith that it will be soon enough.

5) Met Zadie Smith, Chen Li, Lauren Berry, Erin Belieu, Kyle Anderson and Alex Lemon, all awesome people and highly admirable writers.

6) Got a front row seat to a lecture by Zadie Smith. I was nearly late, but as soon as I got to the auditorium, an usher told me there were seats in the front row ONSTAGE! Zadie Smith was literally ten feet in front of me. I was so happy.

7) Had breakfast tacos with Zadie Smith and other Creative Writing teachers and students while discussing writing, rejection and reading. Zadie even mentioned that she'd read Black Swan Green and Cloud Atlas, which made me extremely happy, since I love those books and, up until then, hadn't met anyone else who had read them. It was a very insightful talk.

8) Met the poet and translator Chen Li from Taiwan, who came to my poetry class and talked about some of his poems that we had read in class. His perspective on writing and inspiration really made me think about it differently, and challenged me to try new things while writing.

9) Attended a semi-private poetry lecture by Lauren Berry and Erin Belieu, who blew the roof off with their amazing spirits and poetry. I bought a copy of Erin's newest poetry collection, Slant Six, which has some great stuff in it, as does Black Box, which was required reading for my poetry class. She even signed it for me! I told her about my desire to get published, especially with poetry (what with my class experience), and she told me to make sure my poetry was mature enough before I sent it out. She encouraged me to continue writing and keep up my work.
As for Lauren Berry, I approached her and admitted, somewhat ashamedly, that I had forgotten my copy of her award-winning poetry collection, The Lifting Dress, which I'd been required to read for my Poetry Writing class. But I did, I told her, bring an imitation of one of her poems (an assignment for my class) called "Petition on a Concrete Bench Saturday", a response to "The Just-Bled Girl Writes A Petition On Hotel Paper". I showed it to Lauren, who said it was very cute and wanted to read it. I promised to scan it to her, and she signed it, thanking me for the courage to share my work. She was really happy to see my work, and said in an email that she looked forward to reading it.

10) Lauren Berry and Erin Belieu came to my Poetry Class and talked a bunch about their work and experiences. It was enlightening and, all-around, fun. I hope to do interviews with them in the near future.

11) Attended a semi-private lecture by poets Kyle Anderson and Alex Lemon. The Wish Book, one of Lemon's poetry collections, was also required reading for my poetry class. Both Kyle and Alex did a great job of reading their poetry. Alex even signed my copy of The Wish Book and answered my questions and concerns on writing with great enthusiasm and an unbeatable charisma. Talking to him, as well as to Lauren Berry and Erin Belieu, made me less afraid of rejection, or at least a little more ready to face it.

12) Started submitting to literary magazines again, starting with my school's magazine and moving on to others. I hadn't gotten any acceptances with my previous chain of submissions, but I feel that this round will be very different. I've learned so much, experienced so much, and my writing has changed permanently, for good.

13) Over the past few months, I did three readings: one in Austin and two in San Antonio. One was in September, at a library in Austin, but did not receive the attendance I'd been hoping for. The other two were Open Mics that proved highly successful for sharing my poetry and meeting others with similar interests. Like the lectures I'd attended, the Open Mics gave me a very clear idea of how I could read my poetry in a more engaged, engaging way, as well as other topics I could address in the future. I had a lot of fun and hope to participate again very soon.

These are the main events that come to mind when I think about this year. Looking at this list, I feel a lot more accomplished. Sometimes, when you're so caught up in your writing, you forget how much you've accomplished, how hard you've worked. I do like to keep the future in mind, thinking of where I truly want to go, but I don't forget what I've gone through, who I've met and what I've learned. And of course, I keep my main focus on the present, on what's going on right now, on how I feel this very moment as a writer.

I'm very grateful for all the opportunities I had this year, everyone I've met and everything I've learned. It's been a lot of hard work, but I'm enthusiastic and open to working even harder in 2015.

That year (less than two hours from now!!), I will be published. It doesn't matter how many magazines and companies I have to submit to. I will be published, and more than once! I'll do more poetry readings, probably even with multiple people, new poet friends I met this year :) People will start recognizing my name more. It will be a happy, wonderful, successful 2015.

Happy New Year Everyone!!!!

;),
Courtney


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Comeback! Book Proposal, Poetry and More!

Hello everyone! LOTS of news.

I haven't been keeping up with the blog lately due to lots of college assignments, activities etc...But now that winter break has arrived, I plan to catch up with all my posts and tell you about my plans!

In case I did not post it earlier (or, at least, not through this medium), the book proposal for my novel, "Promises Made, Kept and Broken", was not accepted. It was a tough competition, and I knew that my novel wasn't the kind of book usually published by that company. Still, after a workshop I attended that allowed me to participate in the contest, I thought it would be a great opportunity. I am grateful for all I learned and all that is to come.

Meanwhile, at my university, I took my first ever Poetry Writing class and it was AMAZING. The professor, Jenny Browne, is a wonderful person and excellent instructor. She helped me out a lot with my writing and aspirations. She writes her own poetry too, so you should check it out sometime :)

For Jenny's class, I not only learned to write better poetry, but I also got the opportunity to meet other recognized authors!! My experiences range from breakfast tacos with Zadie Smith to insightful conversations with Lauren Berry, Alex Lemon and Erin Belieu over candy and poetry collections. (More on these experiences later ;) )

I also participated in two Open Mics sponsored by my school's literary magazine. There were some really great people there, lots of talent and good food. The responses have been very encouraging, and I am sure I will participate in more Open Mics in the semester to come! I also submitted to my school's literary magazine and hope to receive a very positive response.

Right now, most of my goals are centered around my poetry. I have started up magazine submissions again and hope for more success this time around. Then, hopefully, I will publish a poetry collection with my accepted submissions (either self- or regular, depending on the circumstances) sometime next year. As for my novel, I'll still be working on it, changing aspects of plot and prose. I don't have a set date for when I want it published, but know that I am thinking about it a lot, and plan to work on it more now that I am out for break.

Thanks again for your time and enthusiasm! I will send more updates soon on other exciting news :)

Courtney

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Poetry Reading: Official Info

Hello all,
Here's more official info for my poetry reading:

Location: Laura's Library (part of Westbank Library)
Address: 9411 Bee Caves Road Austin, TX
Date: Saturday, September 27, 2014
Time: 2:00 pm
Content: Poetry + a sample of my novel Promises Made, Kept and Broken

Hope you will come and suggest that others come too!!

More samples and info to come.

;),
Courtney

Resurfacing...&Good News!!!!!

Hello there everyone!!! :)

I apologize for not writing over the past couple of weeks, it's been so busy!! It will keep being busy for a while, I know, but I promise to post more updates than I have been doing. It feels good to be back on track!

A couple of pieces of news:

1) POETRY READING The day has finally come!!! Saturday, September 27th at the Westbank Library in Austin, Texas. Time TBA. Will be reciting some of my poetry and reading an excerpt from my novel Promises Made, Kept and Broken! Please consider attending, and tell anyone who is in the area and might be interested. There is no limit as to the amount of people that can come, so please spread the word :)

2) BOOK PROPOSAL On August 30th, 2014, I sent my very first book proposal!!! Results will be announced on a later date. Hopes are high!!

That's all the updates I have for now. Feel free to comment; I'd be happy to hear from you!

Thanks for reading, I'll post again soon!

;),
Courtney