From today onward, I am starting the tradition of publishing some sort of monologue on this blog every other Monday. If inspiration and time allow it, however, I might post monologues two Mondays in a row. So let's begin!
I dug out this monologue from one of my "writing folders", which are basically folders stuffed extremely full with my drafts of poems, plays, stories, monologues, et cetera. It was written nearly three years ago, which is hard to believe. I'm sure a lot of people will be able to relate to it.
This is copyrighted, by the way, so read all you want, but it was written by me, hehe. So without further blabbering, here we go.
"Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth", says the Bible.
I know what love is. Love is all of that, but it also often involves getting crushed, suffering a bit, hurting and crying your eyes out. I know that from my experience with him. I mean, we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend or anything. Just good friends, really good friends for me.
But like they say, friendship can change, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. One day we would talk on and on about whatever you could think of: school, money, jobs, family, friends, you name it. We would go deep. But next thing you know, he was swept away, while I was left in the dust. No deep or playful conversations anymore: just some goodbyes, hellos and the occasional comment about something else. That's it for him, I guess.
But that's not it for me! We were close, and when someone so close just drifts away, a part of you just falls apart. And that's what happened to me. A part of me just fell apart, and I'm still making sense of it. And even though he may be after someone else, my feelings stay the same. I want things to be the way they were before, or at least similar. It's not fair!
My love, you meant and still mean a lot to me. Your smile lights up my world and your laugh brings out my own. I want you close to me like we were before. I want to talk like we used to. I want you to feel the same way about me, and it's lust, but it's true. I hope you can somehow forgive me for the times when I did not treat you as well as I should have. I am sorry I am not more verbally expressive in my ways...that's just how I am. Your head is elsewhere, your heart with another, but I will continue to nurture the hope that maybe, someday, we will finally be together.
You are my fire, my one, my falling star, my inspiration. Others may not see it, but I do. Please don't forget me, because I may never be able to forget you.
I surrender. I love you.
[Blogger's note: Since I was actually writing this for a drama class, the last paragraph is dramatized for the purpose of this monologue's performance. I did feel strongly for the person I wrote this monologue about, but I was not in love.]
Please comment your thoughts and reactions! I'd love to hear what you think. And feel free to check out my other blog, cjustusbookrecommendations.blogspot.com.
<3
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