Newest Project: "Sweet Carnation, Tallahassee"

Hello everyone!

It feels great to return to the blogging world after having been away for a few months. Now that it's summer, I'm hoping to post more frequently, both here and in my Book Reviews blog. Feel free to contact me anytime through either one of those two blogs!

Lately I've been working on a relatively new project. It started out as a short story, but has been slowly expanding and will become either a novella or a short novel by the time I am finished. The project title is "Sweet Carnation, Tallahassee" and I hope to have a full-length manuscript finished by the end of this summer.

"Sweet Carnation, Tallahassee" is the story of Karina, an aspiring writer. In her new hometown of Dallas, Texas, Karina feels like an outsider at her high school. One of the few people that can comfort her is Matthew, a guitarist who captures her heart from the day they first meet. When their lives start to take them separate ways, Karina does everything she can to hold onto him, but realizes that doing so just might be impossible.

To learn more about this project and other ones, keep up with my blogs and follow me on Pinterest! I'll be posting more photos and additional information very soon!

I hope you are enjoying your day!

<3
Courtney

What poetry means to me

“Poetry matters because it saved my life and those of others that I know. Whether we realize it or not, every poem contributes something meaningful to existence. It reminds me that life is worth living. Writing and reading poetry made me realize that there are numerous ways of viewing our experiences, and it is up to us to find the beauty in everything that happens to us.” --Courtney Justus --> https://poems2go.wordpress.com/poets-3/

I started writing poetry back in the fourth grade. At the time, I thought that my poems had to rhyme in some way. I wrote about animals, magical creatures, nature, and other things I thought would be good topics for poetry that rhymed.

Flash forward to high school. I took my anger, bitterness, wistfulness, and joy, and splattered them all over the page. I wrote about frustrated crushes, faraway dreams, and my hopes for the future, among other things.

My work has evolved a lot since the fourth grade, and I'm so grateful for all the support that I've received. Writing really does save lives. It's up to us to spread positive messages to others. If we work enough towards our goals, then we're bound to achieve great things.

Tell me: what does poetry mean to YOU? Please comment! I'd love to talk about it.

<3
Courtney

Newspaper publications

Hello all,

As I may have mentioned before, I'm an opinion columnist for my university's newspaper, The Trinitonian. Here are links to some of my work:

http://www.trinitonian.com/running-for-happiness/

http://www.trinitonian.com/pleasure-in-difficulty/

http://www.trinitonian.com/dont-compare-or-even-try/

http://www.trinitonian.com/all-i-want-for-christmas-is-no-more-drama/

It's been a pleasure to write for The Trinitonian these past several months. Before getting this job, I had a lot of doubts as to whether or not I would be good enough for it. I wondered what I'd be able to contribute to the paper that others would find valuable and insightful. As it turns out, writing opinion columns has been a great way for me to open up and discuss a wide variety of concepts in an open way. I've been hearing more and more people say that they've been reading my columns, which feels wonderful. The other day, when I was introducing myself to someone, they even asked if I wrote for The Trinitonian, to which I replied with an enthusiastic "Yes!" He said that he liked my columns, which felt very reassuring. It's a great feeling to know that people can put a name to a face and start to associate you more with your writing.

Being an opinion columnist for The Trinitonian has also made me consider writing for other newspapers in the future, as well as additional magazines and journals not directly affiliated with my university. Of course, I'll continue to submit my creative writing to various publications, but I'd also like to keep writing columns. It has really helped me to open up and be more honest about my opinions.

Stay tuned for more in the near future! In the meantime, check out my Facebook page:

https://www.facebook.com/courtneyjustuswriter/

<3
Courtney

A Talented Drummer & More Work Getting Published!!

Hello all!!

I'm very excited to say that another one of my poems is getting published, as well as one of my short stories!! My poem "Five a.m. and a new friend" will be published online and distributed at select physical locations through the journal poems2go in late April. Then, my short story "Just Rhiannon" will be published in The Trinity Review in print and online in early May (maybe late April). I'm very excited for you to read both!! As always, many thanks to my family, friends, professors, and everyone who has supported my work and helped me to improve it, whether through workshops, advice, or encouragement. :)

"Five a.m. and a new friend" is about a late night, early morning kind of experience that taught me about loving others and myself. "Just Rhiannon" shows a young girl dealing with a tragic event in her family, and how it shapes her in the future.

Just to recap: I've had two of my poems published so far. If you haven't read them yet, check them out at these links:

https://eunoiareview.wordpress.com/2015/07/27/petition-on-a-concrete-bench-saturday/

http://arseniclobster.magere.com/archive/issuethirtyeight/380301.html

I'll post the links to my forthcoming story and poem as soon as possible!

I've really been getting into nonfiction writing lately, so I'm looking forward to hopefully getting my essays published. It's been such a pleasure and release to be writing about my life. My writing has helped me to make sense of a lot of things, especially in this genre. In the near future, I'll post some snippets of my nonfiction, as well as some of my poetry and fiction.


While you're reading, I'd also like to ask you for a favor on behalf of a very talented friend of mine. Her name is Pauline, and she is a multi-talented, perseverant, and utterly amazing human being. She has been making some wonderful music in her native Argentina and is now in this year's Hit Like A Girl contest. Here's her entry video:

http://www.hitlikeagirlcontest.com/under-18/entry/pauline-roberts-2016

As a writer and musician, I'm always in search of inspirational music, and I've found Pauline's work to be outstanding. She is young and energetic, full of potential and innate talent. I hope her story will inspire you to pursue your dreams.


More entries to come in the near future!! In the meantime, you should like my Facebook page:

https://www.facebook.com/courtneyjustuswriter/


<3
Courtney Justus

Nothing should stop you from doing what you love

Hello fellow bloggers,

I return to this familiar site with a new perspective on quite a lot of things. Over the past several months, a lot of things have happened to me, good and bad. There will be descriptions of some of the more significant events in later blog posts, but for now, I think I'll focus on the idea of doing what you most love, and making sure that nothing stops you from doing it.

Now let's establish some boundaries here. I understand that we all have our obligations, and have to give time to these menial (or not so menial) things that we have to do. What I'm referring to here is that we keep these things in mind, but also pay particular attention when we're coming up with a lot of excuses for not wanting to do the thing (or things) you most want to do. In my case, I sometimes tell myself that I'm too tired to write, or that I don't really want to open up my computer and start typing. In fact, that's exactly what was happening to me exactly before I powered up my computer a little while ago! I had trouble sleeping last night, and felt myself getting a little drowsy as I lay in my bed, checking emails on my phone. But I got an idea or two, and remembered some passages I'd written in a notebook while on vacation that I needed to transcribe to my laptop. So I started doing that, thinking that I could put on some music in the meantime if I needed to. I ended up getting work done on a long story, then writing a cover letter, and now, blogging for the first time in months.

It's great to be back, I must say.

There will be distractions. It will be hard. Sometimes you will want to give up. Just press on. That's what I'm hoping to do. You could even call it my New Year's resolution, though it's a bit late to mention that and the idea of New Year's resolutions has started to seem cheesy to me. I once came up with around 8-10 resolutions when I was an elementary schooler. While I did achieve some of them, I just don't want to think in those terms. I am achieving everything I set out to do, and I'm simply going to try to maintain that trend. But I will be gentle with myself. I will love myself.

Be gentle with yourself. Love yourself. Now go and achieve your dreams. I know you can do it.

<3
Courtney

Arsenic Lobster poem! + Writing Happiness + Music!

Hey everyone!
Arsenic Lobster just published one of my poems: Check it out here: http://arseniclobster.magere.com/380301.html

A huge thanks to Arsenic Lobster for publishing my work. It's a great journal, so you should definitely check out some of their other entries. I have a lot of respect for their quality and creativity. It's also just a lot of fun to look at the artwork and layout of the journal. It means a lot to me to have my work featured there, and to see all the wonderful things they have published :)

I'd also like to take a moment to say how happy I am right now, with both my writing and my life in general. I'm now officially writing as a columnist for The Trinitonian, my school's newspaper, while also continuing to work on my poetry and fiction, plus some plays. There were some very rough moments, but in the end, pushing forward made all the difference. Inspiration has nestled itself in the palm of my hand, and I don't think it will be leaving anytime soon. Just keep on writing! Everything you want is within your reach. What matters is that you go and get it. Reach for it, work for it...and it will be yours.

To end for the day, here's some music. I'm starting to open up more about the kind of music that I listen to, and it's been so rewarding to find other people who respect, and even share, my tastes.

https://youtu.be/clKAdQnwJ7A

Feel free to share your musical inspirations! Rob Thomas and Matchbox 20 have given me some amazing inspiration for my writing. There are other bands which have also inspired me greatly, such as Lifehouse, Goo Goo Dolls, James Blunt and Christina Perri. Simon and Garfunkel are pretty awesome too. Getting back to the piano -- to Scarlatti, Lyadov and more -- is also nice. It's been a wonderful past couple of weeks. :)

Have a great weekend!

<3
Courtney

First Poem Finally Released!!

Hi everyone!!

"Petition on a Concrete Bench Saturday" was just published in the Eunoia Review!! Check it out:

https://eunoiareview.wordpress.com/2015/07/27/petition-on-a-concrete-bench-saturday/


I am so grateful that this wonderful magazine decided to publish my work. A huge thanks goes out to Ian Chung, the editor, and the rest of the staff, as well as the other wonderful contributors and our supporters. Thank you!!!

While you're on the site, you should also check out the poems "E" and "A", among other entries. The style conveys beautiful stories with elegance and grace. I'm in awe of the talent displayed in this journal.

Hope you are doing well. I will post more updates soon!


---Courtney

Second Poem Up For Publication!

Hey everyone!

Hope all is well with you today. I'm back with more excellent news: a second poem of mine is getting published this summer as well!! The poem is called "The World Is Not A Bowling Ball", and it will be published by the journal Arsenic Lobster. They've got some really fascinating work in their journal, so you should check it out here.

I remember the day I wrote the very first draft of this poem. We were reading Matthew Dickman in my Poetry Writing class, and I had to write a response to one of the poems from his collection "All-American Poem". I loved Dickman's poetry (and still do), but I was struggling to find even those initial stumbling words. I didn't even know what I wanted to write about, much less how to write it. On a Tuesday morning that September (the day the assignment was due), I stumbled out of bed and decided that I would respond to his poem "The World Is Too Huge to Grasp", the last poem in the collection and the one that most resounded with me. I was tired (not enough sleep) and a little bit frustrated. (How can I write this poem? I have no idea what I'm doing!!) Finally, with that idea of "I have no idea what I'm doing!" blazing in my head, I began to write to two people: I wrote to the poet himself, for the most part, while the very end seemed to be addressed to a friend. Then I thought: This poem is either really good, or extremely terrible. It's probably not "average". With that, I turned it in.

When I got the assignment back, my professor declared: "Courtney, Matthew Dickman set you free!" I replied happily as I received my assignment. A plus. When I went to talk to my professor a few weeks later about my poetry aspirations (and frustrations), she told me I'd blown the roof off with that poem. Her words ignited a tiny fire of hope in the midst of a week to which darkness had clung like cobwebs and mold. I kept working on my poetry, and felt the liberation spread from that day forth.


A huge thanks to my Poetry Writing teacher and fellow poet classmates, who also gave remarkable feedback on this poem and others. Another huge thanks to friends, family and all those who have supported me throughout this tumultuous but wonderful and rewarding process. I love you and thank you endlessly for helping me pull through.

All best,

Courtney Justus





For more information on my writing, check out my Facebook page here.

For reviews on some really awesome books, check out my Book Recommendations blog.

Poetry Getting Published For The First Time!!

Hi everyone!!
I have officially finished my first year in college, and bring you exciting news:

MY POETRY IS GETTING PUBLISHED!!!

For months I've been waiting to get that first 'yes' from a literary magazine. The magazines I'd submitted to back in the winter were all saying 'no', even to what I thought were my better poems. I was tired and frustrated, asking myself why they were saying no and if I'd ever be good enough to get published. Sounds a little harsh, but they say most authors are their own worst critic, and that just might be my case.

Anyway, moving forward a little bit, I heard about this literary journal called Eunoia Review through Authors Publish Magazine, which I subscribed to a few months ago. They send me an email every week with journals and other publishers accepting submissions, plus inspirational material for writing. When they sent information about the Eunoia Review, I looked at their main page and decided to give it a shot. Their content was excellent, and they had a commitment to respond to all submissions within 24 hours, which I think is spectacular,

I revised several poems and sent them off, feeling a little bit jittery. When I couldn't sleep that night, I checked my phone and saw I had a new email. It was from them! I opened the email, and it was a YES.

That's right. A short, sweet response in which they agreed to publish my poem "Petition on a Concrete Bench Saturday". Lauren Berry, author of The Lifting Dress, actually saw the very first draft of this poem and liked it!** I am so grateful for her support, and for the help and support given to me from my family, friends and the members of my Poetry Writing class last fall. I am also extremely grateful for the Eunoia Review for agreeing to publish my poem. I'll always remember the moment I saw their email and cried. It's only the beginning. If I got this yes, I can get another one.

For those of you who are struggling to get that first "yes", or simply trying to find a place for their work, know that you can do it. Your work deserves a place and, if you search enough, you can find it. I know I might receive more rejections after this. Okay, I know I will probably get rejections in the future. But I will also get acceptations, and in the long run, aiming for those acceptations, fighting for them and getting them is what matters.

It might sound funny, but I feel like this first "yes" wouldn't have meant as much if it had come earlier on. I remember this poem actually got rejected by the first literary magazine I sent it to, which felt especially awful, since it had been heavily workshopped in my Poetry Writing class, and I regarded it as one of my better poems. But I knew in my heart that this poem deserved a place in a literary journal. Now, it has found that place. And it feels absolutely perfect.


Thanks for reading my blog and supporting my work. I will post links to my work once it is published in late July. In the meantime, you should check out some of the other work they publish here. And keep an eye out for my work!! Late July will be here before you know it!


;)

Courtney

**For more information on how I met Lauren Berry, see this entry.



Check out my book reviews at cjustusbookrecommendations.blogspot.com.

Check out my Facebook page here.

Anomie For This Writer

Anomie. It's the most interesting word I have heard of in a long time. But what does it mean? According to my Sociology reading from Conley's "You May Ask Yourself", it's a sense of normlessness or aimlessness that comes when you feel that life can no longer be considered predictable under reasonable means. Anomie may also occur when social regulation is reduced. In this post, I hope to tell you about my sense of anomie and how it relates to my writing.

When I first saw this word, I thought to myself: "Hmm, that sounds familiar!" It feels like a good thing to say that, although looking back, it wasn't such a good thing at first. I moved to Buenos Aires, Argentina in December 2007, when I was twelve years old. I had moved before, but never outside the United States.

Moving to Argentina turned everything upside-down. I had to learn Spanish at a very uncomfortable rate while trying to make new friends and get used to a very different way of life. Things weren't so great between my parents, school was difficult and I had absolutely no idea how to adapt.

After nearly six years, I realized that I could never adhere myself to a particular set of norms. Back in the States, I more or less knew what these "rules" looked like, both said and unsaid. When I moved, I tried to find a new set. With the passing of time, I found a lot of different rules, but many of them changed quickly according to different circumstances and even people. In fact, sometimes it was hard to say if there were any real norms at all. Maybe this frustration came from me being American, while most of the people I knew were born and raised in Buenos Aires. Some of them had changed schools or houses, so they understood what that felt like. But countries? Most people hadn't, with the exception of certain members of my youth group and first non-USA middle school, both of which were international.

At this point, you might be wondering: "What do you mean, you didn't know what the norms were?" Let me explain. If you were born and raised in Buenos Aires, particularly in the area I spent most of my adolescence in, then you knew what kind of actions and attitudes were accepted and not accepted, as well as what kinds of people were well-liked and weren't. There were also a lot of rules that weren't spoken, but felt collectively, and everyone knew what they were. Except for me, the foreigner. And then there was the general fact that, at most private schools, Americans were put down as different in many, many bad ways. (Unless you went to one of those fancy international schools, had a very rich family and became popular easily. I went to one briefly, but it got too expensive, and I was neither rich nor popular.) My brother was bombarded with horrid jokes about the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I was called an undocumented alien immigrant (among many other barbarities), nearly thrown into a garbage can (while I had a limp, mind you!) and had my phone stolen from me twice. (It's a miracle I even got it back!)

I tried to learn the norms, in order to fit in. I was still able to make friends (mostly outside of school) and get decent grades, since there were certain "school" and "friendship norms" that applied for both the USA and Argentina. But the more I tried to apply myself to this process, the more I felt like there were so many rules that feel obsolete in quite a few situations, which happened so many times that I came to think that there was a set of norms for Argentineans but not for foreigners, who had to pray to get lucky.

Here's an example of a rule that fell "obsolete": As an American at a bilingual school, English classes were pretty easy for me, and a lot of people looked to me for help. I found, at first, that helping people from my class with certain translations made them very happy, which made them act nicer towards me. But over time, things got to the point where those people would treat me badly even after I had helped them, or would get frustrated after asking for my help and realizing that the translation would be more difficult than expected. People made jokes that I'd always say "It depends on how you use it" or a similar phrase when helping, but it was pretty true. In many cases, I needed more context than what they gave me to properly help them, and if I gave them the wrong answer, it'd just be worse for me. But given my previous experiences, I'm not sure that rule still fully applies, since so many other ones don't.

Finally, I was able to graduate high school, get into college in the United States and start having a more stable life. My sense of anomie has mostly faded. The good part is, I have some great inspiration from my experiences with anomie. In spite of it, I even made some friends who I still talk to today (They are more understanding of us "Yankees", and know full well how immature it is to bully someone just because they are from a different country and are "different" as a person). But now, I know what it's like to feel that you can't rely on anything or anyone. I've lost sleep wondering whether I'd be at the same school or house the following month, because I was terrified of change and loss. Looking back, I feel more comfortable with change now, and I'm grateful for that, but I don't wish it upon anyone to feel like I did.

I hope that my writing can make people feel less of a sense of anomie, or more comfortable with it. Some people might embrace it, and if I can help them do that, help them make sense of things, then I'm grateful.

There will be certain characters in my projects who will feel plagued with a sense of anomie. Christine experiences some of it in my novel "Promises Made, Kept and Broken", which will hopefully be published in 2015. Lance, Jennifer and Meg are three characters from a work-in-progress that struggled greatly with it. Jasmine and Megan, from two other novels in the works, find themselves dealing with it as well. It is even present in some of my poetry.

You could definitely say anomie has been a huge influence on my work. There have been many other influences, ranging from close friends to bizarre situations and even made-up settings and people (I wrote a poem recently in which I mentioned there was a man holding a candle in his mouth while driving through the woods in the dark. I have never seen that happen or even heard of it happening. Imagination is key), plus everything in between. In the end, I want to inspire people and feel inspired, be happy and help others feel the same. Anomie tends to take away your sense of belonging, and I have been able to get it back by reading and writing. If you're feeling a sense of anomie, or anger, or sadness, or simply that you don't belong: I can help you. There is more to life than a struggle for identity and belonging. Somewhere out there are people who have felt exactly the same as you. You may not know them, but they are reaching out to you in one of the best possible ways: through their writing.

Courtney



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Wrapping up 2014 with fun memories and thoughts on writing

Hello everyone! It's almost 2015! Happy Holidays! I thought I might finish off my 2014 posts by talking about some of the awesome things I've done this year (things I have told you about and things I haven't!)

Here's a look at what I have done this year with my writing:

1) Started submitting to literary magazines before starting college

2) Met Randy Davila, CEO of Hierophant Publishing and Hampton Roads Publishing, presented him with the idea for my novel Promises Made, Kept and Broken and got a signed copy of his book Think Like A Publisher!

3) Enrolled in a poetry class at my university. I had to waitlist myself, but it was totally worth it!

4) Submitted my book proposal to Randy Davila as part of a contest of sorts. It wasn't accepted, but I have faith that it will be soon enough.

5) Met Zadie Smith, Chen Li, Lauren Berry, Erin Belieu, Kyle Anderson and Alex Lemon, all awesome people and highly admirable writers.

6) Got a front row seat to a lecture by Zadie Smith. I was nearly late, but as soon as I got to the auditorium, an usher told me there were seats in the front row ONSTAGE! Zadie Smith was literally ten feet in front of me. I was so happy.

7) Had breakfast tacos with Zadie Smith and other Creative Writing teachers and students while discussing writing, rejection and reading. Zadie even mentioned that she'd read Black Swan Green and Cloud Atlas, which made me extremely happy, since I love those books and, up until then, hadn't met anyone else who had read them. It was a very insightful talk.

8) Met the poet and translator Chen Li from Taiwan, who came to my poetry class and talked about some of his poems that we had read in class. His perspective on writing and inspiration really made me think about it differently, and challenged me to try new things while writing.

9) Attended a semi-private poetry lecture by Lauren Berry and Erin Belieu, who blew the roof off with their amazing spirits and poetry. I bought a copy of Erin's newest poetry collection, Slant Six, which has some great stuff in it, as does Black Box, which was required reading for my poetry class. She even signed it for me! I told her about my desire to get published, especially with poetry (what with my class experience), and she told me to make sure my poetry was mature enough before I sent it out. She encouraged me to continue writing and keep up my work.
As for Lauren Berry, I approached her and admitted, somewhat ashamedly, that I had forgotten my copy of her award-winning poetry collection, The Lifting Dress, which I'd been required to read for my Poetry Writing class. But I did, I told her, bring an imitation of one of her poems (an assignment for my class) called "Petition on a Concrete Bench Saturday", a response to "The Just-Bled Girl Writes A Petition On Hotel Paper". I showed it to Lauren, who said it was very cute and wanted to read it. I promised to scan it to her, and she signed it, thanking me for the courage to share my work. She was really happy to see my work, and said in an email that she looked forward to reading it.

10) Lauren Berry and Erin Belieu came to my Poetry Class and talked a bunch about their work and experiences. It was enlightening and, all-around, fun. I hope to do interviews with them in the near future.

11) Attended a semi-private lecture by poets Kyle Anderson and Alex Lemon. The Wish Book, one of Lemon's poetry collections, was also required reading for my poetry class. Both Kyle and Alex did a great job of reading their poetry. Alex even signed my copy of The Wish Book and answered my questions and concerns on writing with great enthusiasm and an unbeatable charisma. Talking to him, as well as to Lauren Berry and Erin Belieu, made me less afraid of rejection, or at least a little more ready to face it.

12) Started submitting to literary magazines again, starting with my school's magazine and moving on to others. I hadn't gotten any acceptances with my previous chain of submissions, but I feel that this round will be very different. I've learned so much, experienced so much, and my writing has changed permanently, for good.

13) Over the past few months, I did three readings: one in Austin and two in San Antonio. One was in September, at a library in Austin, but did not receive the attendance I'd been hoping for. The other two were Open Mics that proved highly successful for sharing my poetry and meeting others with similar interests. Like the lectures I'd attended, the Open Mics gave me a very clear idea of how I could read my poetry in a more engaged, engaging way, as well as other topics I could address in the future. I had a lot of fun and hope to participate again very soon.

These are the main events that come to mind when I think about this year. Looking at this list, I feel a lot more accomplished. Sometimes, when you're so caught up in your writing, you forget how much you've accomplished, how hard you've worked. I do like to keep the future in mind, thinking of where I truly want to go, but I don't forget what I've gone through, who I've met and what I've learned. And of course, I keep my main focus on the present, on what's going on right now, on how I feel this very moment as a writer.

I'm very grateful for all the opportunities I had this year, everyone I've met and everything I've learned. It's been a lot of hard work, but I'm enthusiastic and open to working even harder in 2015.

That year (less than two hours from now!!), I will be published. It doesn't matter how many magazines and companies I have to submit to. I will be published, and more than once! I'll do more poetry readings, probably even with multiple people, new poet friends I met this year :) People will start recognizing my name more. It will be a happy, wonderful, successful 2015.

Happy New Year Everyone!!!!

;),
Courtney


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Comeback! Book Proposal, Poetry and More!

Hello everyone! LOTS of news.

I haven't been keeping up with the blog lately due to lots of college assignments, activities etc...But now that winter break has arrived, I plan to catch up with all my posts and tell you about my plans!

In case I did not post it earlier (or, at least, not through this medium), the book proposal for my novel, "Promises Made, Kept and Broken", was not accepted. It was a tough competition, and I knew that my novel wasn't the kind of book usually published by that company. Still, after a workshop I attended that allowed me to participate in the contest, I thought it would be a great opportunity. I am grateful for all I learned and all that is to come.

Meanwhile, at my university, I took my first ever Poetry Writing class and it was AMAZING. The professor, Jenny Browne, is a wonderful person and excellent instructor. She helped me out a lot with my writing and aspirations. She writes her own poetry too, so you should check it out sometime :)

For Jenny's class, I not only learned to write better poetry, but I also got the opportunity to meet other recognized authors!! My experiences range from breakfast tacos with Zadie Smith to insightful conversations with Lauren Berry, Alex Lemon and Erin Belieu over candy and poetry collections. (More on these experiences later ;) )

I also participated in two Open Mics sponsored by my school's literary magazine. There were some really great people there, lots of talent and good food. The responses have been very encouraging, and I am sure I will participate in more Open Mics in the semester to come! I also submitted to my school's literary magazine and hope to receive a very positive response.

Right now, most of my goals are centered around my poetry. I have started up magazine submissions again and hope for more success this time around. Then, hopefully, I will publish a poetry collection with my accepted submissions (either self- or regular, depending on the circumstances) sometime next year. As for my novel, I'll still be working on it, changing aspects of plot and prose. I don't have a set date for when I want it published, but know that I am thinking about it a lot, and plan to work on it more now that I am out for break.

Thanks again for your time and enthusiasm! I will send more updates soon on other exciting news :)

Courtney

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Poetry Reading: Official Info

Hello all,
Here's more official info for my poetry reading:

Location: Laura's Library (part of Westbank Library)
Address: 9411 Bee Caves Road Austin, TX
Date: Saturday, September 27, 2014
Time: 2:00 pm
Content: Poetry + a sample of my novel Promises Made, Kept and Broken

Hope you will come and suggest that others come too!!

More samples and info to come.

;),
Courtney

Resurfacing...&Good News!!!!!

Hello there everyone!!! :)

I apologize for not writing over the past couple of weeks, it's been so busy!! It will keep being busy for a while, I know, but I promise to post more updates than I have been doing. It feels good to be back on track!

A couple of pieces of news:

1) POETRY READING The day has finally come!!! Saturday, September 27th at the Westbank Library in Austin, Texas. Time TBA. Will be reciting some of my poetry and reading an excerpt from my novel Promises Made, Kept and Broken! Please consider attending, and tell anyone who is in the area and might be interested. There is no limit as to the amount of people that can come, so please spread the word :)

2) BOOK PROPOSAL On August 30th, 2014, I sent my very first book proposal!!! Results will be announced on a later date. Hopes are high!!

That's all the updates I have for now. Feel free to comment; I'd be happy to hear from you!

Thanks for reading, I'll post again soon!

;),
Courtney

Monologue Monday: August 25, 2014

Hello all and thank you so much for all the views. :) I write because it's my passion, but it feels so great to see my views increase and know that my writing is reaching people across the state, country...even the world!

This monologue feels even more raw than my last one. Perhaps it's because I've stopped editing myself more than I need to, when I really don't need to? Anyway, here it goes (But no stealing! I have copyright on this stuff.)


I'm finally here, moved in, settling down. Advising and registration were today and I got into some awesome classes. Auditions: choir, piano and theater, are this week. Every day has been better than the last, and yet, there is one question which lingers in intervals briefer than the smallest spaces in the Fur Elise. It is difficult to phrase it, but on my honor, for you and me and the sake of writing authentically, I will try with all of my heart to say it, and explain myself.
What do I think of you now? I thought I'd still feel myself falling, in a way, and maybe I still am. But was it a graceful descent, or more of a stumble? It's hard to tell.
"Pain demands to be felt."-Green.
You have crossed my mind pretty much every day, sometimes multiple times a day. And when I sat down and wrote "If Eyes Could Speak", I was right, and I knew I was right, no matter how much I wanted to be dead wrong. But deny my intuition? Shove it away as though it were a disgrace? I'd be backstabbing myself. And that wouldn't do anyone any good.
But it's official: you're starting to drift off the radar. You are floating in my mind like a dream I'm not sure I want to remember. Yet dreams of all kinds are inspirational, no matter how meaningless they might seem at first glance. And I am starting to accept this. But the question remains: What do I think of you now? Am I still falling? Or am I picking myself up?
I'll tell you now, so you'll stop wondering, if you're even interested. Darn, I'll tell you no matter what: I am up and feeling fine. Walking, not running, enjoying the views from the stage and not just from the audience. This is what living is supposed to feel like. This is Happiness, as my first philosophy teacher would say. I am making it in this life. You may stick around to see me, or you might drop out. Deep down, I feel it'd be nice if you'd stay. But please, bring him back. You. The real You. I haven't seen him in nearly a month and a part of me misses him. It's cheesy, cheesier than a pound of mozzarella cheese, but I am telling you the truth, and I am telling it to you because I need to, and even if you never see this, I needed to understand. And finally, I feel like I do. I have for a long time.


Like it? Feel free to leave a comment. If you have any constructive criticism, feel free to comment. I'd be more than happy to hear from my lovely viewers ;)

Other great news: It looks like I finally got a poetry reading!!! So excited!! :D The date isn't set yet, but I'm definitely starting to make preparations and figure out tentative dates, so once the date and time are set, I will post the info here. I am so grateful and look forward to the opportunity to read my poetry IN PERSON and share even more of my work (plus some more of my own story) with you. Thanks for sticking around.

<3
Courtney

On Motivation and Inspiration: Why I Write

Hey everyone, I have a new Facebook page which I plan to update regularly. Take a minute to check it out: https://www.facebook.com/courtneyjustuswriter  A few seconds to click "Like" and some shares would mean a lot.

Yes, it's important for me to have social media outreach now that I'm trying to be professional. But that's not the main purpose of this post (or of this blog, although I do appreciate the 400+ views on Writer Intro. Thanks a million!). What I really want to blog about today is two concepts that are extremely important to me. They are motivation and inspiration.

Both of these things work in synchronicity for me. One of the reasons I feel motivated to write is because of inspiration: my own, and that which I can spark in others. I write for myself, because it brings me peace, joy and clarity, but I also write for others, so that they may feel empowered, intrigued, inspired and motivated by my words.

Just to keep things clear, my intentions are far from trying to force others to feel these things. People should come to this on their own, but it always helps to be a source of creativity, inspiration, knowledge: it makes other people feel good, but it also makes you feel great, since you are choosing to irradiate all these beautiful things which you choose to see and feel.

In today's world of high-powered technology and instant communication, it can be easy to feel saturated by the quantity of information we are receiving every day, through technology and other means. Now let's think about this for a moment. Every day, millions of people wake up and check their phones. A new like on Facebook. A juicy piece of celebrity gossip. A text message from your best friend and your ex, but not from the guy you have a total crush on. These people are connected to social media, which bombards its users with updates practically by the minute, as is its nature, and the majority will return day after day, hungry for more.

I'm not saying that social media is bad or that people should use it less (although addiction is no bueno, as my boss might say.). But it is a prime example of how our senses can be completely bombarded just by spending half an hour on Facebook. And with so many people trying to get noticed, it continues just as so.

As an avid reader, going to the bookstore is a less brain-numbing way of filling my senses with a sort of kaleidoscope. So many books by so many authors...young, old, new releases, classics, well-known, little-known...a huge variety awaits me the minute I step into a Barnes & Noble. I wonder to myself: What will it be like when my books are published? What will the covers look like? Will they be noticeable in the bookstore? Will people enjoy my books as much as (Insert name of famous author)'s? What kind of reviews will I get on Goodreads and Amazon?
And the list goes on.

My point is, it can be easy to feel like you are overlooked with so much new stuff coming in, and sometimes the fountainhead of motivation and inspiration seems reduced to a trickle due to the changes in communication and the need for recognition; a need, I will say, which can feel unmet even for someone who has five times as many "contacts" as the next man.
We cannot let ourselves be overcome by these sensations.

The trick is not to avoid these sensations, but to filter what we'd really like to know more about (and what we wouldn't) and find our emotional center. You don't have to be spiritual to do this. Ask yourself: What makes me feel good? What inspires me? What do I want to achieve? How can I shape my life so that I am focused on achieving my goals and feeling whole? Take a few minutes away from everything to think about these things. But don't let yourself become overwhelmed with thoughts or frustrated. These questions can take time to answer, but once you start, life will take on a completely different notion for you.

Even if you think you've got all these questions answered, continue to take that valuable time to think; it will keep you focused on what you envision. You can also take a few minutes to meditate (Again, you don't have to be spiritual to meditate or for meditation to work for you!), letting your thoughts flow freely, with focus on the breath. It will make you feel renewed, as well as keep you both inspired and motivated.

Relax. You may have a million questions about everything, but they will all be answered in time. In the meantime, may you continue to live a motivated, inspired, happy life!

:),
Courtney




PS: Feel free to leave me comments through Blogger and Facebook. I'd love to hear what you think ;)

Monologue Monday: August 11, 2014

From today onward, I am starting the tradition of publishing some sort of monologue on this blog every other Monday. If inspiration and time allow it, however, I might post monologues two Mondays in a row. So let's begin!

I dug out this monologue from one of my "writing folders", which are basically folders stuffed extremely full with my drafts of poems, plays, stories, monologues, et cetera. It was written nearly three years ago, which is hard to believe. I'm sure a lot of people will be able to relate to it.

This is copyrighted, by the way, so read all you want, but it was written by me, hehe. So without further blabbering, here we go.


"Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth", says the Bible.
I know what love is. Love is all of that, but it also often involves getting crushed, suffering a bit, hurting and crying your eyes out. I know that from my experience with him. I mean, we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend or anything. Just good friends, really good friends for me.
But like they say, friendship can change, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. One day we would talk on and on about whatever you could think of: school, money, jobs, family, friends, you name it. We would go deep. But next thing you know, he was swept away, while I was left in the dust. No deep or playful conversations anymore: just some goodbyes, hellos and the occasional comment about something else. That's it for him, I guess.
But that's not it for me! We were close, and when someone so close just drifts away, a part of you just falls apart. And that's what happened to me. A part of me just fell apart, and I'm still making sense of it. And even though he may be after someone else, my feelings stay the same. I want things to be the way they were before, or at least similar. It's not fair!
My love, you meant and still mean a lot to me. Your smile lights up my world and your laugh brings out my own. I want you close to me like we were before. I want to talk like we used to. I want you to feel the same way about me, and it's lust, but it's true. I hope you can somehow forgive me for the times when I did not treat you as well as I should have. I am sorry I am not more verbally expressive in my ways...that's just how I am. Your head is elsewhere, your heart with another, but I will continue to nurture the hope that maybe, someday, we will finally be together.
You are my fire, my one, my falling star, my inspiration. Others may not see it, but I do. Please don't forget me, because I may never be able to forget you.
I surrender. I love you.

[Blogger's note: Since I was actually writing this for a drama class, the last paragraph is dramatized for the purpose of this monologue's performance. I did feel strongly for the person I wrote this monologue about, but I was not in love.]

Please comment your thoughts and reactions! I'd love to hear what you think. And feel free to check out my other blog, cjustusbookrecommendations.blogspot.com.

<3

How Do I Read My Poetry? (Another Sample!!)

Today I left my contact info to a few more libraries, in hopes to get in a poetry reading or two before I head off to college (YEAH!). In order to keep a positive attitude that they would say YES this time, I decided to practice reading one of my poems as if I were reading it in front of other people.

And it was awful.

Maybe I'm too hard on myself sometimes. Okay, correction: I am too hard on myself sometimes. But even so, I think it's important to recognize where there is a need for improvement, which I was able to catch a glimpse of today.

The funny thing is, I've read my poetry aloud in front of other people. In seventh grade, I was a member of the forensics team! (Didn't win anything though. What a shame.) I've been doing musical theater for six years and plan to continue, which involves reading and interpreting lines which, like poetry, are strings of letters and words and phrases which mean something! And yet no matter how hard I tried to keep a certain pace, tone, or to put emphasis how and where needed, it just...didn't...sound right.

If you have any videos and/or articles on poetry reading/forensics, please comment below, I would appreciate it greatly. Also, if you have any other articles related to writing a book proposal (including any of the individual parts of one), please include them as well.

In the meantime, here's a piece of the poem I tried to read earlier today:

I tend to keep my head down

Whenever I’m in that place

For I can’t stand to look you in the eye

While these emotions still remain.

A very glance at an empty room

From which I leave so drained...

How can you expect me to feel something else

While these emotions still remain?

I feel like I’m drowning, I am appalled

At the emotions that remain

And I have to say, it’s not easy to explain

Why I can’t look at you the same.

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Emotions That Remain by Courtney Justus is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

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Please feel free to ask any questions you like and leave any suggestions you might have. I would be happy to hear them :)

Enjoy the rest of your week!

PS: My other blog is cjustusbookrecommendations.blogspot.com. I write reviews of books I've read and liked. If you have any book recommendations, feel free to comment here or on my other blog! I'd love to look into them. ;)

Upcoming Video and Possible Reading

After receiving several "No"s when I asked about reading my poetry in different places, including bookstores and coffee shops (or simply not getting called back after leaving my info), I went into a process of deep thought. What does this mean? What should I do next?, I asked myself, feeling nonplussed about the responses I had received.

After much thought, I've decided to take two simple steps.

The first is to post a video on YouTube of me reading my poetry or a portion of my book (most likely poetry). I'll start off with just one, but as I rack up the views and receive responses, I'm sure I will post plenty more. Truth be told, I've always had a desire to post something of my own work on YouTube, related to music, writing or both, so I'm very excited about this new project! As soon as I have uploaded the first video, I'll post the info on here so that you can have direct access to the video through my blog!

The second is that I am going to try again. Even though social media and blogging are very pleasurable and two great outlets for me to communicate with people and become more well-known as a writer, I know that an in-person event, such as a poetry reading, is a great opportunity to connect with people, and just because I was rejected or ignored a few times it doesn't mean it isn't worth it. :) I will reach out to places a bit further from home for opportunities. If I can, I'll even enter a poetry slam and see how that goes. Once I know if I'll be doing a reading of any sorts, I will post the info here, in hopes that anyone who reads this blog will be able to make it :)

More updates on my work soon to come! If you haven't already checked out my Book Recommendations blog, feel free to do so: http://cjustusbookrecommendations.blogspot.com

If you have any comments, feel free to post! I appreciate your views ;)

More on "Promises"

Thank you so much for all the views!! Seeing how the number has gone up with each new entry gives me a lot of hope.

Today I've decided to share another piece of my book with you. (This is copyrighted!) Like the other fragment I posted a few entries ago, this portion is prone to change once it gets into the hands of a professional editor. But in the meantime, I'm sure that it'll give you an even bigger picture of my book. Hope you enjoy!
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Christine and Sebastian lay side by side, quietly watching the fireworks. There was no one else around, just a few lazy fireflies that drifted through the air. Sebastian was grateful for the peace he felt; it had been a while since he'd experienced this sensation.

“Do your parents hate me?"

Christine's small voice startled him out of his reverie. He looked at her. Her green eyes were intent on his, deep and innocent. Sebastian swallowed and muttered:

“No…"

Christine looked disappointed. He felt a pang in his heart. The look she gave him was not the one he had been hoping for.

"I feel like they do."

Sebastian felt his stomach twist. Christine knew the truth. Did he think she wouldn't see it just because she was different? How could he hide it when the truth leaked through his words and gestures?

"It's okay Seby." She reached for his hand, and he let his fingers linger near hers before he crossed his arms around his waist.

"Don't tell me it's okay."

"But it is."

Sebastian ran his hands through his dark hair, then crossed his arms over himself again. He didn't feel okay. He felt anything but okay.

"Seby?"

He didn't look at her. "Yes?"

"Promise me we can still be friends?"

...............................

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Promises Sample by Courtney Justus is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

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Did you like it? Feel free to comment on this post or on any previous or future posts. I'd be happy to respond and answer any questions you may have. :)

Have a good one!